Modern Family

Powerful people raise giant slayers. As, children grow and experience life, they face “giants” in many forms – the hurts, struggles, fears and temptations of the world that seduce countless young people away from their divine call to represent Jesus in both purity and power. It is vital for parents to train children to defeat these giants – to become giant-killers. A parent’s priority is to gradually transfer a child’s dependence away from them until it rests solely on God. Parents, you are called to be the primary disciple makers of your households. You must lead intentionally. Remember, no one can impact and lead your children like you. Transferring dependence It is our goal and purpose to transfer our children’s dependance from us to God. We need to model dependence on God. Love your God Ask yourself, how important is your faith in the likelihood that your children will also become people of faith? Lead your family What does it mean to lead your family? It is to prioritise the right things. It’s the job of the parent to keep the children focused on what’s most important. Unfortunately, the norm is what the children are involved in has become the most important thing to us. What children need: God’s training corral consists of important areas that, when brought together, will result in a parent’s ability to train up a child according to his or her way. Loving Touch The need for touch is neurologically and sociobiologically based. Children (and adults) derive great comfort and peace from safe and kind human touch. Abundant Time Abundant time with our kids require intentionality. Our children need our focus and attention more than what they need stuff. They need us to take an interest in the things that are important to them, even if it is not something that interest us. Encouraging Talk We need to use our words to encourage our children and encourage them by speaking life over them. We need to speak the Word over them and remind them of their God-given identity. Godly Discipline Parental expectations We expect first time and cheerful obedience. Parents discipline more for attitude than actions. God is more concerned about the heart of your child and any lack of cheerfully executing the instruction is outward obedience with a heart kicking and screaming rebelliously against it’s authority. 2. We agree to never discipline in anger Believers are to make dealing with anger a priority. Otherwise, bitterness or the desire for vengeance can grow, leading to more sinful thoughts and actions. Anger can be a helpful emotion, yet must be handled carefully and quickly to avoid leading to sin. It is not meant to be “lived in,” only “dealt with.” We will discipline promptly with instruction and reconciliation

Modern Family Part 1, Part 2, Part 3 Powerful people create powerful structures. Lasting relationships are built on strong core principles. Those principles dictate how you behave in your life, and with others. Having a significant other who holds those same beliefs is a wonderful complement to the relationship, and the stuff that strong unions are built upon. What is the goal of your relationship? Every relationship has 1 of 2 goals: Connection Distance In any good fruitful relationship the goal must be connection. We design the environment that creates these 2 two goals. Strong relationships live from a place of being face to face.  How do we create connection in our relationships?  Service Service is doing something for your partner that you know they would like, watering their plants, or cooking them a meal. When you service, you give up your time. This non-verbal form of love can be time-consuming and exhausting, but if it’s what you partner needs, then it’s worth the effort. Question: How do you serve your spouse?  26 But this is not to be so with you: on the contrary, let him who is the greatest among you become like the youngest, and him who is the chief and leader like one who serves. 27 For who is the greater, the one who reclines at the table (the master), r the one who serves? Is it not the one who reclines at table? But I am in your midst as One Who serves. Luke 22:26-27 Powerful people’s level of service is not determined by how they are served.  Just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life as ransom for many Matthew 20:28 Husbands, how do you serve your wife.  Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, 26 that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the Word, So Husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church.   Ephesians 5: 25-29 All healthy relationships require – giving and receiving. In order to receive you have to give first. You cannot reap a harvest if you have not sown a seed.  Give, and it will be given to you: good measure, pressure down, shaken together, and running over will be put into your bosom. For with the same measured back to you. Luke 6: 38 Service means, “how do I make you feel valued, appreciated, and loved?” How do we communicate “I see you value?” Communication Key to creating connection or distance is communication. 70% – 93% of all communication is non-verbal.  Communicating with each other will bring you closer; allow you to get to know each other as deeply as you can. If you like to keep things to yourself, believing that no one needs to know your business, not even your partner, and your partner loves to talk about every feeling, then the relationship will more than likely fail. Dr Chapman – 5 love languages: Physical touch Quality time Acts of service Words of affirmation Gifts Our ability to love is governed by my openness to the Father’s love. Once you grasp God’s boundless love for you, feel secure and complete in your relationship with Him, and learn to rely on the power of His Spirit living in you, you will be able to show genuine love to others. You will start imitating Him as closely as possible in how you treat others. You will learn to “walk in love.” Love tank= Capacity of love. Full love tanks create an environment where love can be examined and curated for each partner’s needs. You can only give of what you have. 

If you missed it or you want to recap, here is Part 1 and Part 2 of the Modern Family Series You can view the full sermon on our Facebook Live Stream. “I chose you”. We need to understand that building a relationship is based on a choice. This is the foundation of all true lasting relationships. Most relationships are built on “you chose me” rather than “I chose you”. Lasting relationships are built between people who choose each other and take responsibility for that choice.  You did not choose Me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit, and that your fruit should remain, that whatever you ask the Father in My name He may give you. John 15:16 Most people get into relationship because they want find value in them. You can only find your value in God. Lasting relationships require powerful people. They know who they want to be with, what they are going to pursue in life, and how they are going to go after it.  Powerless people: Powerless people have a deep need to suppress and assuage their abiding fear—fear of loss, pain, death, abandonment, and more. But because they do not have the power deal with their fear, their only hope is to persuade other people to do it for them. Powerless language: I can’t I have to I’ll try Powerlessness is rooted in the belief that “I don’t have power to manage myself”. Powerless people approach relationships as consumers. They are always looking for other people who have resources of love, happiness, joy, and comfort to offer in a relationship to share with them, because they don’t have any. Powerless people dynamic: Victim  Bad guy Rescuer Powerful people: They know that their job is not to control others. Their job is to control themselves. They consciously and deliberately create the environment they want to live in. They deliberately set the standard for how they expect to be treated by the way they treat others. Powerful people refuse to be infected, affected or be victims of others or their environment. They demand people around them to be powerful too. Powerful people questions: What are you going to do about it? What have you done? What else can you do? Powerful people offer themselves and others 1 option: Become powerful Make choices Control yourself Powerful people can be who they say they are on a consistent basis. They can say “yes” and “no” and mean it. Only powerful people can create a safe place to know and be known intimately. Powerful relationships are tied together by the strength of the love they have built, not by the illusion that I can control you or that you need a rescuer. Becoming powerful: Recognise the cycle of powerlessness Repent and ask Holy spirit to heal areas of fear Say yes to a life of responsibility. God has created you as a powerful person who can make powerful decisions.

What does a Godly family look like? It is a family that is intentional in honouring God in everything. When your family honours God, you walk in abundance. Blessed are the peacemakers. We’re talking about how conflict is managed in your family. Most homes are characterised by conflict and not peace. Conflict is not a bad thing, it just depends how you handle it. What is your home characterised by? Matthew 5:9 | Blessed are the peacemakers for they shall be called sons of God. Peace is not an absence of conflict. It is the pursuit of the highest God. So many people spend their days in pursuit of their own brand of “peace on earth.” They must do whatever is possible to either avoid conflict (one definition of peace) or to live their lives on their own terms (another definition of peace). God did not send His only Son to the earth in order for Him to make us “happy” or to make things “easy” for us. He sent Jesus to beckon us to a relationship with Him and to call us to allegiance to Him. Only when we let go of our empty pursuits and receive a God-given peace, can we become agents of peace and ministers of reconciliation to a peace-less world. We need to have an attitude of what we’re putting first. When we put ourselves first, we put peace last. Matthew 5:38-40| 38 “You have heard that it was said, ‘An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.’ 39 But I tell you not to resist an evil person. But whoever slaps you on your right cheek, turn the other to him also. 40 If anyone wants to sue you and take away your tunic, let him have your cloak also. Peacemakers are not peacekeepers. Peacekeepers avoid confrontation to keep the peace. Peacekeepers work hard to keep tensions from rising. They work hard at pretending that nothing is wrong and that nothing is bothering them. Peacekeepers avoid conflict at any cost. Their reward is apparent peace and tranquillity. Peacemakers embrace confrontation to keep the peace. Peacemakers invite necessary conflict because they know there is no other pathway to the increase of understanding between warring people and groups. Peacemakers value authentic peace more than its distorted parody. The peace that exists between people with the courage to endure conflict, for the sake of lasting peace, is like gold when compared to its counterfeit cousin. We are not a Christian family, we are a Christ-centred family. Christ-centred homes are not conflict-free. They seek the highest God What do peacemakers do? 1.Tell the truth in love This is not to break someone down but to build them up Ephesians 4:15 | Instead, we will speak the truth in love, growing in every way more and more like Christ, who is the head of his body, the church. 2. Apologise when you’re wrong Admit to specific actions and attitudes no excuses. True repentance means responsibility. Remorse and repentance. I’m sorry is for sins. Forgiveness is for sins. James 5:16 | Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results. 3. Forgive and let go We never look more like God than when we forgive. Colossians 3:13 | Make allowance for each others faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. Your family is worth it.

Part 1 We live in broken culture and society that is telling us what a family should look like. Whoever wins the family, wins the culture in the end. Family is a God idea. It is not a human construct. Your family, according to God’s Word, is a gift of God. A Christian family comes in the infinite compassion of the majestic and glorious God. A Christian family is the product of God’s hand and of God’s heart. For this reason I bow my knees to the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, 15 from whom the whole family in heaven and earth is named, Ephesians 3:14-15 Blessed families are strong families. These are families walking in the fruit of the Spirit. God gives us the blueprint and structure of how to build strong families. Families are truly strong when family members are bound in unity by their shared relationship with God. The blessing of the Lord- it makes [truly] rich, and He adds no sorrow with [neither does toiling increase it]. Proverbs 10:22 How do we attract the blessing of God? Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be filled. Matthew 5:6 Matthew 5:6 (AMPC) | Blessed and fortunate and happy and [a]spiritually prosperous (in that state in which the born-again child of God [b]enjoys His favor and salvation) are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness (uprightness and right standing with God), for they shall be [c]completely satisfied! We need to hunger and thirst for the things of God. Are you hungry for the things of God? What doesn’t work? Legalistic Christianity Rules without relationship lead to rebellion For sin is the string that results in death, and the law gives sin its power. 1 Corinthians 15:56 Lukewarm Christianity Christ should be the center of our families. We need to create an environment where our family sees God as loving, approachable and involved But since you are like lukewarm water, neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out of my mouth! Revelations 3:16 How to create hunger for God in our families Involve God in our daily conversations “Look at how good God has been to us” Church is non-negotiable “Kids don’t want to miss kids and teen church” Show how seeking and serving God is fun “We don’t need to tell our kids to be good when we are pursuing the one who is good” And if it seems evil to you to serve the Lord, choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods which your fathers served on the other side of the River, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you dwell; but as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord. Joshua 24:15