Modern Family Part 1, Part 2, Part 3
Powerful people create powerful structures. Lasting relationships are built on strong core principles. Those principles dictate how you behave in your life, and with others. Having a significant other who holds those same beliefs is a wonderful complement to the relationship, and the stuff that strong unions are built upon.
What is the goal of your relationship?
Every relationship has 1 of 2 goals:
- Connection
- Distance
In any good fruitful relationship the goal must be connection. We design the environment that creates these 2 two goals. Strong relationships live from a place of being face to face.
How do we create connection in our relationships?
- Service
Service is doing something for your partner that you know they would like, watering their plants, or cooking them a meal. When you service, you give up your time. This non-verbal form of love can be time-consuming and exhausting, but if it’s what you partner needs, then it’s worth the effort.
Question: How do you serve your spouse?
26 But this is not to be so with you: on the contrary, let him who is the greatest among you become like the youngest, and him who is the chief and leader like one who serves. 27 For who is the greater, the one who reclines at the table (the master), r the one who serves? Is it not the one who reclines at table? But I am in your midst as One Who serves.
Luke 22:26-27
Powerful people’s level of service is not determined by how they are served.
Just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life as ransom for many
Matthew 20:28
Husbands, how do you serve your wife.
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, 26 that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the Word, So Husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church.
Ephesians 5: 25-29
All healthy relationships require – giving and receiving. In order to receive you have to give first. You cannot reap a harvest if you have not sown a seed.
Give, and it will be given to you: good measure, pressure down, shaken together, and running over will be put into your bosom. For with the same measured back to you.
Luke 6: 38
Service means, “how do I make you feel valued, appreciated, and loved?” How do we communicate “I see you value?”
- Communication
Key to creating connection or distance is communication. 70% – 93% of all communication is non-verbal. Communicating with each other will bring you closer; allow you to get to know each other as deeply as you can. If you like to keep things to yourself, believing that no one needs to know your business, not even your partner, and your partner loves to talk about every feeling, then the relationship will more than likely fail.
Dr Chapman – 5 love languages:
- Physical touch
- Quality time
- Acts of service
- Words of affirmation
- Gifts
Our ability to love is governed by my openness to the Father’s love. Once you grasp God’s boundless love for you, feel secure and complete in your relationship with Him, and learn to rely on the power of His Spirit living in you, you will be able to show genuine love to others. You will start imitating Him as closely as possible in how you treat others. You will learn to “walk in love.”
Love tank= Capacity of love. Full love tanks create an environment where love can be examined and curated for each partner’s needs. You can only give of what you have.
