As we begin to learn what it means to connect and form relationships, we need to remember that we need to come from a place of honour.
4 Negative Attitudes That Destroy Relationship (Part 2)
3. Insecurity
Insecurity basically means you and I are not secure in who we are. We don’t have a firm foundation in who we are and who we are in Christ. If you don’t know who are you are in Christ you will be insecure in every area of your life. Why? Because you are basing your identity on things that are temporal. Things that are here today and gone tomorrow. For example, if you place your identity in your marriage, what happens when your marriage ends? If you place your identity in your children what happens when your children leave? If we know we are loved by God then we will always operate from a place of “I don’t need to measure up to someone else’s idea of who I should or shouldn’t be.”
The fear of human opinion disables; trusting in God protects you from that.
Proverbs 29:25
Insecurity prevents intimacy. What we fear in relationships:
1. Exposure – exposure for who you really are
2. Rejection – wanting acceptance
God is saying He loves you no matter what. God sees everything, you can’t hide anything from Him. That’s the beauty of our God. We can be vulnerable in front of Him. So, because we’re afraid to be vulnerable in front of God it leads to fear of rejection. That filters through in lives and in our relationships.
He said “I hear you in the garden and I was afraid because I was naked. And I hid.”
Genesis 3:10
This message essentially unfolds how when we are vulnerable we don’t want ourselves exposed because we don’t want God to see who we really are because we don’t like who we are, because we are insecure. Do you see how the process of insecurity unfolds? It proves the need for a relationship with God so we can know who we are and who’s we are.
Secure yourself in Christ and you will find that your relationship will be strengthened. Insecurity DESTROYS relationships. Love BUILDS them. If you are feeling insecure in relationship chances are it isn’t the other person making you feel that way. It’s a reflection of your relationship with God, showing you that it is strained.
Such love has no fear because perfect love expels all fear. If we are afraid, it is for fear of punishment, and this shows that we have not fully experienced His perfect love.
1 John 4:18
When we know how much Jesus loves us, we won’t feel pressure to prove ourselves to anyone.
4. Resentment
Resentment is bitter indignation at having been treated unfairly.
NEWSFLASH: The reality is you will be treated unfairly in your marriage and in your church. Do you know why? Because you’re dealing with human beings.
Resentment can also unfold as an offense. It’s the way of the enemy to take you off-course of what God is trying to do in your life.
21 When my heart was filled with bitterness and my mind was seized with envy, 22 I was stupid and I did not understand. I was like a dumb animal in your presence,
Psalm 73: 21-22
Resentment turns your heart into a desert, and it dries you up emotionally. Forgiveness is the antidote to resentment. Forgiveness is letting go of the pain and letting go of my right to get even
“bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you must also do
Colossians 3:13
17 For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking, but of righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit, 18 because anyone who serves Christ in this way is pleasing to God and receives human approval. 19 Let us, therefore, make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification. 20 Do not destroy the work of God for the sake of food. All food is clean, but it is wrong for a person to eat anything that causes someone else to stumble. 21 It is better not to eat meat or drink wine or to do anything else that will cause your brother or sister to fall.
Romans 14: 17-21
15 “If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over. 16 But if they will not listen, take one or two others along, so that ‘every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.’ 17 If they still refuse to listen, tell it to the church; and if they refuse to listen even to the church, treat them as you would a pagan or a tax collector. 18 “Truly I tell you, whatever you bind on earth will be[d] bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven.
Matthew 18: 15-18
Bear (endure, carry) one another’s burdens and troublesome moral faults, and in this way fulfill and observe perfectly the law of Christ (the Messiah) and complete what is lacking [in obedience to it]
Galatians 6:2
